wondering

“hi, how are you?”
“what have you been up to lately?”
“[are] you still alive?”
“how’s life treating you?”

these are some questions i’d like to throw at someone.
right now, i’m still wondering…

why the sudden change?
did i do something to offend you?

maybe you woke up and realized you don’t need us anymore
maybe you woke up and found out that there’s no point to all of this
maybe you woke up knowing you got to spend wisely and be frugal
thereby cutting all your lines of communication
maybe you woke up with a changed heart

i just hope that my maybes are far from the truth
i can’t dare ask those questions since i’m still dazed by all of what’s happening
maybe i’ll stop wondering, or maybe not
still, i can’t help but wonder
i may never get any replies to those questions
for i too am unsure

i just hope i won’t have to wonder further
i hope this won’t become a guessing game
or i might end up completely forgetting your existence

just remember this
you know where to find us
in case you decide to let us back in your life again
i hope when that time comes, it won’t be an awkward moment
from your absence
i hope when that time comes i still have my doors open
or that i didn’t grow tired wondering and have completely forgotten about you too

i hope you won’t be what others would say “a lost case”
as i’ve said, you know where to find us
but just hurry up
and find yourself
before its too late

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