crushed

Before December 2012 entered, I had everything figured out. For the past 6 months after I got back from my backpacking trip, I’ve been living a bum’s life. I’ve been earning an unstable income from my site. That helped me get by each day. I have no obligations whatsoever so I didn’t really need more  money – just enough for my basic needs. But I got tired of my situation. I needed to find a stable source of income. I need to save up fast so that I can travel to the places I wanted to go. I figured I’d save up so that I can finance my trip to Singapore or Thailand then find work there. That was my plan. SG or BKK in order to get a higher salary and save up fast so that I can travel to Europe.

However, before 2012 ended, I got an unexpected informal job offer. I was to work part time in a small company. The setup was supposed to be for me to work only on Thursdays and Fridays. But due to the nature of the business, they eventually asked me to report for work on a daily basis. The job is basic but very challenging. The pay is crappy and I don’t even understand why I agreed to accept the job. Honestly I don’t.

biri island

How did I end up in this situation? Why did I allow myself to get entangled in this mess? I couldn’t  back out…not now…even if I want to.

Although I just pretend that the word travelling doesn’t exist, at the back of my mind, it’s haunting me. I can’t get it off my mind. I kept telling myself to give travelling a break I guess for a maximum period of 2 years. But as each day that passes by, I couldn’t stop convincing myself to stop thinking of travel thoughts. sigh.

It’s really difficult to be stuck in this situation. I had to stop my burning desire to travel far and wide just because I’m stuck. It’s hard to really explain why I also allowed myself to get stuck. To be honest, I can simply walk away and never come back. I just don’t know why I’m still here. I just hope that this little sacrifice won’t go to waste since my heart is being torn to pieces every time I think of travelling.

Signing off for now…

– my frustrated travelling feet

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