Burnt Out

The last two weeks have been very stressful for me. I have not taken any rest days since I was helping out to ensure that the shipment of our orders gets done. I know it’s not supposed to be my responsibility but no one else has to do it. And with my pay grade, I shouldn’t even be concerning myself with those stuff. But I did. When I computed my overtime pay (I actually compute my own salary and pay my own self, you know), I realized that the pay wasn’t worth the effort I exerted to accomplish the completion of the project. On the first week, I had to say to myself that I won’t render another overtime again since the pay wasn’t worth it. But my foolish self still worked beyond my call of duty. Honestly, I’m in that state where I am floating…floating to decide whether I should stay or simply go; whether I should stop this nonsense or if I should give it another month or two.

The more I stay in that company, the more I get close with my peers and the more I uncover the company’s dark past. I feel disgusted every time I uncover the truth. I could choose to disappear if I want to. I feel pity for those who think they don’t have any choice but to stay there. I, on the other hand, have more options to choose from. I can easily choose to stay or simply walk away. But I’m still undecided. However, if I hear another lie or see an act of dishonesty, I’ll surely be gone in a flash.

What I’m hoping is for things to work smoothly that way I won’t have to experience and endure another stressful and mind-boggling feeling. I even lost weight (which I’m not complaining) because of the hell I had to go through to make things done.

wood sander

By the way, I’m adding the following to my work experiences:

– wooden bracelet sander

– driver / delivery service (on call 24/7)

– necklace maker

– box packer

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